I used to be a lot like that -- I didn't even like to go out together b/c of it (and you can bet I wasn't too keen on him going out without me, either!).

It can be hard to trust, even when the person is trustworthy. The emotions you're feeling are coming from you, I think, and not him. You're not feeling lovable and worthy, so you may be looking for evidence to confirm that.

But your boyfriend is there b/c he WANTS to be. That's the bottom line. (And isn't that a nice bottom line? If he also has a nice bottom, then you're doubly blessed! *laugh*)

I don't think you can get over those feelings without lots of work (but it'd be worth it -- I'm finally doing better with blocking out those thoughts and I'm infinitely happier). You might want to consider doing a little research on cognitive therapy (a way to retrain the way your mind thinks).

From all your posts, you sound smart and wonderful, and you're gorgeous and stylish to boot. We just need to get you to see that reality, in your heart of hearts.

Best,
Lisa

I couldn't have said it any better than Finally did! Thanks Finally!

And in creeps the low self-esteem. I think that is the hardest thing for me to work on. I have a hard time accepting compliments. Or, I should say, believing them. I, too, think "what would he see in me." "So many others are pretty".... Stupid negative thinking. I think once we actually believe that we are worthy of love and praise, we attract more positive energy. PMA, dear. Positive Mental Attitude! It's all in the 'tude! xoxo

Amazing. With almost perfect clarity you have mirrored my problems with my wife. She goes out for coffee with her cousin four or more times a week and I hate her cousin for it. She started a new job this week and we're spending even less time together because I work days and she works evenings, and so when she has time off it really drives me crazy when she goes out. Recently she was quiet and reserved, barely speaking to me. I asked her what was wrong repeatedly but she would tell me nothing. Last night she actually spoke with me and it felt really good, but today again she's off with her cousin, then to work. I get the priviledge of babysitting my stepson while she goes to work, then being Saturday night she'll probably want to go out after work or something.

After beating the hell out of one of the doors in the house and screaming at the top of my lungs I thought of you guys and calmed down (someone sent me a hug and it was very much needed), then started to think about WHY I was so upset. She tells me she loves me. She still comes home to me...so what is it about her going out that bothers me so much? The answer was actually quite simple: she leaves me here by myself with nobody to talk to, or do something with, and I'm tired of watching the same movies over and over again. All my friends live 5 hours away (I moved here for work and met my wife) and so when she goes out, I have nobody to spend time with...and it makes me feel like I'm not worth spending time with. I don't know if that means I've made any kind of breakthrough, since I still feel like hell, but at least I have some idea of WHY I feel so bad. I know I should make some friends and get out of the house but this town is so small and it seems so much harder to find people with similar interests here. I'll think on this some more and see what I come up with. Anyway, sorry for ranting on about my own problems, this was supposed to be a reply to Emble's post.

Emble, I understand how you feel. I don't know what to say other than your boyfriend is telling you he loves you. I think the both of us, and anyone else that feels these insecurities should try to work on giving them the benfit of doubt and take them at their words until they (if ever) prove their words are lies.

thanks guys.. your words have been really supportive and cheered me up a bit! thank you for spending ur time replying to me :) big hugs xx

When your feelings about someone get close and intense, a lot of other feelings can get close and intense, like things from childhood. Do you have issues with your dad that may be making you feel insecure and paranoid? - Like being left, thinking he probably wished he was with someone else, anyway?