Let me start off by saying that I am 16 years old, sophomore in high school, and my mother passed away when I was 10 after an 6 year long battle with cancer. I have been serverely depressed for about 3 years, and it wasn't until 2 years ago that I started thinking about suicide. The thought of leaving my loved ones behind to grief for me scares me very much, and thinking about what my father would do to himself frightens me even more. My dad began dating a woman 4 years ago this February, and she moved in with us 7 months after they got together. At first she wasn't that bad, and we did things like a mother and her young child would do. Their relationship started getting bad a few months after she moved in, it hit its peak summer 05 when she thought about moving away. Although she didn't go, the situation, them having horrendous fights, disturbed me mentally. The situation has suddenly become a lot better, like the first couple months of their relationship, but now she seems to be "picking" on me a lot more, and my father neglects me more than ever. She complains about things like not putting my shoes in the right place, and leaving the refrigerator door open. I swear I am trying my hardest to do the best I can, but it just isn't good enough. To add to all of that, my mother's family is falling apart. My aunt, my mother's only sister, divorced her husband, who I was very close to. She then had a falling out with my father, so I rarely ever see her. She is now dating a guy who is totally bad news, he is a raging alcoholic, and I know he is capable of abusing my 5-year-old cousin who's 16-year-old brother recently moved in with his dad to get away from the guy. When my uncle, my mother's only brother, tried to talk with her about what she was doing to the family, she told him "[she] doesn't have a brother anymore." Now I basically don't have an aunt either, not that she was the most stable person, but she was the closest thing I had to a mother. Her and my mom were exactly alike, they did everything together, including becoming massage therapists. I would much rather exclude her from my life, because she really isn't making the slightest effort to help this family any. This whole thing is driving me crazy, and I am now having the most intense thoughts of ending my life. I really don't think I can talk to anyone, if I said anything to my family, they would think i'm crazy and treat me different, or just not take me seriously. I have told my friends before, but they don't take me seriously and just shrug it off. I really don't have anyone to turn to. Please give me any suggestions or thoughts. Anything would be helpful at this point!
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