Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hello gang,
I am sorry I have not been able to communicate on the site...I'm having trouble communicating with loved ones and friends. I don't seem to function so well anymore.
I screwed up. On a whim I drove by my old house (ex husband still lives there). The curtains were all open and I could see inside. It was all like I left it (I was driving by in the car, not on foot). I saw him and my dog (my baby) I left so much behind, I've lost so much...I can't stand it. Every time I think that there is nothing else to lose, I am wrong.
I have nothing. I have driven off all my friends in my silence because I feel like such a failure. I am broke as a joke, as no disability benefits have started yet. I am scared and alone. I am in so much pain - I just realised I spent an hour on the kitchen fall clutching a knife and crying. I wouldn't do anything...just because I'd f it up and end off even worse.
Every time I hit bottom, I think that's it...but my pain is bottomless. In this case I'd usually drink my face off, but I don't drink anymore (for months now).
I am a useless excuse for a human being. I had it all and I didn't appreciate it so it's gone.
I am sorry I have not been able to communicate on the site...I'm having trouble communicating with loved ones and friends. I don't seem to function so well anymore.
I screwed up. On a whim I drove by my old house (ex husband still lives there). The curtains were all open and I could see inside. It was all like I left it (I was driving by in the car, not on foot). I saw him and my dog (my baby) I left so much behind, I've lost so much...I can't stand it. Every time I think that there is nothing else to lose, I am wrong.
I have nothing. I have driven off all my friends in my silence because I feel like such a failure. I am broke as a joke, as no disability benefits have started yet. I am scared and alone. I am in so much pain - I just realised I spent an hour on the kitchen fall clutching a knife and crying. I wouldn't do anything...just because I'd f it up and end off even worse.
Every time I hit bottom, I think that's it...but my pain is bottomless. In this case I'd usually drink my face off, but I don't drink anymore (for months now).
I am a useless excuse for a human being. I had it all and I didn't appreciate it so it's gone.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I can't even freakin spell anymore.
im so sorry that things are not going well. so you drove by your old house??? thats tough ive done it and it does hurt....why did you go there?? maybe you could start by telling us why you left....
He brought me to a starbucks to ask for a divorce because he didn't want a scene. That very day I left everything behind. I decided it wasn't worth it. He had turned into a dick I was a dick too...the relationship was sour on both ends.
Maybe I'm missing the comfort and security (we were well off. I live on apples and water now because I have no money.) I was being harrassed at work by my boss so I went on stress leave. My dad died suddenly and the 1 year anniversary just passed, my favourite aunt died right before my divorce, even our family pet dogs died. I have nothing. I find it so difficult to communicate, and I have pushed away my friends. All I want to do is hide in my condo.
I had hope that there was a purpose to all this - I am a believer in God and I felt that God was putting me though the fire like clay pot through the kiln to make me stronger...that there was a purpose to my suffering.
After my drive by...I don't think there is a purpose to my pain anymore.
I don't know what possessed me to drive by. As I was doing it I knew it was a bad idea. But I did.
I used to drink a lot (especially when I was married) but I've quit...in the past I'd be drinking my face off by now to avoid the pain.
I think what set me off is seeing "home". I haven't felt "home" in a long time. When I was married, we were well off. I wanted for nothing 'stuff wise' but everything else in my marriage was empty. Maybe I got started tonight because I feel so alone, hungry, no security, and scared.