Depression Support Group

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Im so stupid

deleted_user
deleted_user
Hello
Im so stupid
Lately i have been acting like a single mum im married and have one child
I sometimes go out with my friends who are also married to kareoke bars
the reason is my husband works very late and long hours im so bored and we dont spend time together but i know thats not a good excuse
and i leave my daughter at my mums place who at times will keep be happy to have her there overnight

now that might not seem much of a deal to go out once in a while but as i suffer from depression and anxiety i drink alchohol but i dont drive i get picked up

anyway i go out and at times i get so drunk just to hide my sad feelings and anxiety and dont realise i have drank so much that i throw up at home and well the next day i feel a mess as i have done this to my husband a few times and he wasnt too happy

should i tell my husband i had come home before my husband did from work im scared he will be so mad as i lied about the night that i was going out
but i feel bad and guilty as i had thrown up all over the bath room basin and well didnt realise i made a mess there i had left it and was in bed passed out im sure he has seen the mess i cleaned it up in the morning

The next day i dont see him in bed and see him on the lounge and well i know he will go to work in few hours so i go and stay over my mums for a bit and to get my daughter who i left over my mums she knows i went out but my husband had no idea that i went out didnt tell him as had a feeling i would be a mess and well i wait till husband goes to work for me to come home

now he didnt know i went out so he would wonder why i threw up on a wednesday night
as i drink socially and behave with him and on the odd weekend night
i dont want any war so i dont know what to say its hard to say i went out and come home throwing up when this has happened before he dosent mind me going out its how i act thats bugs him

so i will see him tomorow morning hmm
i really hate what im doing to him
as i love him and my daughter so much i dont know why i do this

any advice on this would be good

I know i wont be going out anymore
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you need to be honest with him. Not that your lieing but keeping it from him. Let him know how you feel, communication is very important.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with loolooit's not like he can't tell there's something going on when he comes home to the vomit in the bathroom. The only chance you have of figuring this out is to try and talk to him, make him understand what's going on and see if there's something you can work out together that will help. If not, it sounds like you'll just keep on the binging and things will get worse.
psyc
psyc
I agree with them. you need to be open with your husband.he can help. he cares about you and having him there to support you will help you immensely. good luck.
mgs1
mgs1
Now that is ignoring the "Thousand pound elephant in the room." What good does it do to ignore the problem - it doesn't go away. Of course you need to tell him, apologize and ask for help.
You are only making things worse.
deleted_user
deleted_user
People who dislike boredom struggle. We can also learn to enjoy and some of these issues fall off on their own.

Thinkers and partiers share the same trait -- they'll do anything to avoid boredom.
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