Hi everyone im having a hard time here. Not sure what to do my son whom is 19 was mad because he didnt get a xbox 360 for christmas and hes still buging me about it i told him we were lucky to have food and a place to live but thats not good enough. I feel like i cant do anything right anymore he took back all but 2 of his presents and got the money back that didnt bother me so bad but he keeps harping me for an xvox and right now we are very lucky to have food and a place to live. My depression is gettting worse and im not sure what to do about it. Christmas night i couldnt go to sleep even after i took my meds the trazadone didnt even put me to sleep i fell asleep crying. I cant take this anymore im about to lose it. I was thinking of going to the hospital but with no insurance theres just another bill so im trying to deal with it all by myself here and of course my wonderful friends on here but its really taking a toll on me. All i could think about on christmas was my grandpa who has passed away 1 yr ago. I feel like nothing i do is right anymore i cant please everyone. If im not happy how can i make everyone else happy. On christmas it was just me mike and the kids that made it worse my mom called from illinois and wanted us to go up there but we couldnt. I feel like im losing it and im not sure what to do im so tired of the depression and pain and panic attacks. Sometimes i wish i werent even here i know my family loves me but they dont understand how i feel. I thank god every day for all of my friend son here if it werent for all of you im not sure what i would do. Thanks for being there for me. Well im gonna go so i can take my meds and go back to bed its 3:30pm here ill try to get back online after a while. thanks again take care i hope everyone has a safe and happy new year thanks again suzie
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