Hi I think I have a few problems that I need help with. Ive had this depression for quite sometime, maybe several years but I not really sure when it started. Ive also been isolating my self from friends for several years. The depression really hurts the most after nights of heavy drinking so I sorta know it would help to cut the drinking. I feel its more serious than just the drinking though because I get these suicidal thoughts, even when I haven't been drinking. I know that I'm incapable of actually doing this because it would be unfair to the people I know and family. These thoughts are still very haunting and definitely a real problem for me. They come mostly out of bad memories. Whenever I think of a bad memory It instantly triggers one of the thoughts. The bad memories can date all the back from my childhood to present. I also imagine blood covered surfaces sometimes. I don't actually see blood but, I imagine it all over where ever I may bee. Sometimes dripping from places. There are times when I don't have the thoughts for several days and I make note of it. They just keep coming back though and are really tough to deal with. I know the way I've been living needs improvement in certain areas. I just feel that I'm in a little over my head. There are other things I want to mention but, I will finish this now so I don't make this too long.
Thank you for reading
Thank you for reading
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