
Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

deleted_user
Please answer all the questions. I really need your help and your opinion...I am despirate for everyones help.
What would you do if YOUR SPOUSE had a secret (lie) that would ruin your maarriage? Would you want to know?
What would you do if YOU had a secret (lie) that would ruin your maarriage? Would you tell your spouse?
What would you do if you loved your spouse more than anything and would never intentionally hurt them but the secret (lie) you have, has already hurt them and would hurt them even more if you told him/her? Would you tell you spouse?
What would you do if you couldn't live with this secret (lie) anymore?
What would you do if YOUR SPOUSE had a secret (lie) that would ruin your maarriage? Would you want to know?
What would you do if YOU had a secret (lie) that would ruin your maarriage? Would you tell your spouse?
What would you do if you loved your spouse more than anything and would never intentionally hurt them but the secret (lie) you have, has already hurt them and would hurt them even more if you told him/her? Would you tell you spouse?
What would you do if you couldn't live with this secret (lie) anymore?
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for me.. i always NEED to know the truth, even if it kills me!
What would you do if YOU had a secret (lie) that would ruin your maarriage? Would you tell your spouse?
for me, i would be scared to death to tell him. i really cannot say whether or not i would.
What would you do if you loved your spouse more than anything and would never intentionally hurt them but the secret (lie) you have, has already hurt them and would hurt them even more if you told him/her? Would you tell you spouse?
that is really hard to answer, i suppose it depends on the situation and how it would hurt them (emotionally, physically etc.)
What would you do if you couldn't live with this secret (lie) anymore?
i dont know, each situation is different.
what faith said makes sense.
RICHARD
Well, I would not trust him as long as he kept it, and I WOULD NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM as long as he kept it, fot all I know he may have AIDS or HPV (which is also life threatening, and can be contracted even if you use a condom)
If I had a lie, I would feel guilty all the time, I would not be able to be emotionally close to him like I would want to be, and I would hate myself for not being honest.
Yes, I would tell my spouse. Because even though it would be very painful and potentially destroy the relationship, it would be much worse to lie indefinitely and never have the full potential of a loving, caring, and trusting relationship you both deserve. You cannot ever acheive that if either one of you are keeping a secret.
If I couldn't live with it anymore, I would set aside a calm agreed upon time to talk to him about it...I would tell him I have something important I need to talk about, and when would be a good time soon? I would be honest, take full responsibility, (even if there are some valid reasons for the kept secret) Remember -- this is just your confession, and working it out or not will come later.
He may not react favorably at first, so even if he says that's it, it's over, give him some time to cool off and think it over. He may change his mind.
Being honest will not necessarily doom your relationship. It may even serve to strengthen it in the long run, and it will also "heap hot coals on his head" (make him feel guilty) if he is hiding secrets, too, and it will be an opportunity for him to also come clean. And be ready to hear what he may have to say.
If that all comes out in the open and you BOTH want to stay together, couples counseling will help you keep that from happening again.
Also, you would benefit from both of you studying a really great book together called "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. It also comes with a workbook that you could each buy one for yourselves, to get the most out of it you can.
And Dr. Phil also wrote a book called "Relationship Rescue" that is supposed to be a very good one for pulling a strained relationship out of the bucket.
In my opinion, it is better to go your seperate ways, if it comes to that, than to live with the guilt and shame of hiding lies. It will harden your heart over time.
If depression has taught me anything its to be honest with youself, I'd rather someone hated me for telling the truth than loved me for being a liar.
I hope this helped. Good luck with whatever you chose to do.x
If this were my own relationship, I'd want truth above all else. I would rather build my house on a firm foundation than on shifting sand.