I am 31 years old and have limited control over everthing around me except the obvious which is me. I have been together with my husband for 14 years who is a heavy drinker and claims he wants to change however never comes through. My mother and brother both have schizophrenia and will never lead a normal life. TO make matters worse i thought that getting invovled with my boss would help me gain the strenght i needed to divorce my husband however now i feel as though i am in love with him and he is married also. I feel as if my life is spiraling out of control even though today i feel ok. The only person who i feel happy with is my boss and who knows where that might go. I want to have kids however i don't wnat to bring them up with a father who drinks too mucch. my father died 6 years ago who was the only stable person in my life. I hate to burdon my friends with my problems so i keep my feelings inside. I just want to leave everything behind and start my life over but the only way i feel this could happen is if i move to another state far away so i don't have to deal with all of the stressors mentioned above. what is your advice? Oh and I am a principal at a residential treatment facililty so this adds to the stress of constantly being around and dealing with people who have severe behavioral and mental health issues. Wouldn't it be easier just to leave everthing behind. I know i would't do this because i need to be there for my family. But i can't seem to get any relief. I work out regularly and eat right but i can't seem to get the motivation i need to make positive changes in my life. I need help!! words or if someone can relate please respond.
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For those of you that reached out to me today I want to say thank you. Your encouragement calmed my heart. I took a nap and I'm feeling a little bit better. I'm still struggling, but being able to let it out here is so comforting that someone is actually listening and cares! Thanks again!!