I am so so close to the end.My mind is numb and Iv'e been having seriouse suicidal thoughts all morning.I can't see a future for me,I can't see a way out of my messed up head.I feel physically sick and I'm very shaky.Please pray for me.Iv'e just come off three weeks of hypomania and have finally crashed,it's hell.I can't sleep,don't want to eat and when or if I do eat I binge.My head hurts.I feel emotinally numb then angry and sad.Lucky I'm seeing my menatl health nurse today.I don't want to tell my family because they are so sick of seeing me like this.I'm sick of being like this.I'm way over tired,restless and have very little patients.I just want to end it all even though i know that isn't the real way out.I'm sick of my family not understanding,I'm sick of their on and off support,one minute they support me the next they back off completly and get angry with me and ask what the hell is wrong with me.What the hell is wrong with me??Even the doctor and nurse are puzzeled,so I'm going to be diognosed by a pyscologist in a few weeks.Some people think I have just depression with panic disorder,others say I'm bipolar with clincal depression,PP and PD.Then my aunt thinks I'm not mentally ill at all and thinks I'm making it all up.
Posts You May Be Interested In
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...