i am so tired of trying so hard here to get settled in only to keep getting kicked off my feet everytime things start to feel better. i haven't wanted to cut in ages (the last time was 15 yrs ago) and it is all i can think about the last couple of days. i won't as i know i shouldn't and would catch a world of shit for it from my hubby....but i can't stop crying and wanting to go home to my mom and my old friends where it was still crap but familiar crap. i am back job hunting now...of course just before christmas and am scared out of my mind as we don't have anyone we can get help from now and i am not sure when i will find something let alone get paid again and we are almost out of money. we can't get any help from the gov as i am not a citizen yet and i have to job hunt and am having trouble even leaving the house cause of how sick i feel. not sure what i am asking for....just needed to say it to someone since he keeps saying it will be fine but it seems like there is no way for it too now. i know he is right but i just can't see that now and i am sick of being scared all the time.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??