Throughout the past year my depression has gotten worse and now its to the point where I've thought about suicide, attempted it once with no success and have been in a mental hospital. As for the hospital, it was the most traumatic experience of my life and I never want to go back. Problem now is I'm afraid to tell family, therapists, psychiatrists, doctors, etc... how I truly feel because I NEVER want to go back to a mental hospital. Literally, it only made things worse. I hate how I feel. I feel like all of the good feelings and emotions that "normal" people feel are dead in me and I'm scared that I'll never get them back. I need to get a job so bad, but to be honest, I don't think I'm emotionally ready to handle it. Financially though I have to. I do still want to die, but all I do now is pray every night that God and Jesus will take me in my sleep, but it never happens. I feel like a loser because of the fact that my parents are taking care of me and I'm 24 yrs old. I feel like there is no hope left for me cuz I've tried everything and nothing works. I can't sleep anymore or eat and I feel as though I'm getting crazier with each passing day. I'm so scared and I don't know what to do. Any suggestions would help, but please be gentle cuz I've had people respond to me in extremely rude ways that only pushed me further towards the edge.
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??