So this is my last year of High school and everyone just seems so happy. I feel like crap because I see so many people who are loved and embraced so and I feel like I am not. I see so many people who have stoped talking to me and when try to talk to the they sometimes just run off or it seems like they do. It makes me feel like shit. I see my best friend and sometimes I just wonder why we are even best friends. We dont talk that often anymore. And I just feel like every one is drifting away. I left school earlier this year and came into independent studies because I felt like I didn't belong. I hate my self for thinking like this but sometimes I thnk people would be better off with out me. I wonder how different things would be if I was gone and I honestly feel like moving far away when I finish school. Its niice when people see you and you catch up or they tell you how much they miss you but lately I haven't been feeling loved aand it's stupid because I know I am. I see these people with their friends and they all look so happy and I wonder why my life doesn't seem happy. I live in a piece of crap I sleep on a sofa I am soo poor that the only shoes I can afford are sandals and I feel like I have nothing. Last Christmas we didn't even do anything. Hell we didn't even have anything to eat. I just feel like I am not good enough. I honestly dont know why I haven't killed my self. I feel so empty inside. so alone. Its a dark lonely world for me and I dont know how to make it any better. I think my friends are happier that I left school even though they say they aren't but they sure dont act like it. Yes I know that there are people out there who have it worse than me but I feel so empty inside.
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