PARENT - Job Description
This is hysterical.

If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed,

for challenging permanent work in an

often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent

communication and organizational skills

and be willing to work variable hours,

which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on-call.
Some overnight travel required,

including trips to primitive camping sites

on rainy weekends and endless sports

tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

Fo r the rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated,

at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina

of a pack mule and be able to go

from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat

in case, this time, the screams

from the backyard are not someone

just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating

technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair,

mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers..
Must screen phone calls,

maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple

homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize

social gatherings for clients of all ages

and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable

one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product

safety testing of a half million cheap,

plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be

prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability

for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor

maintenance and janitorial work

throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &

PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position

for years, without complaining,

constantly retraining and updating

your skills, so that those in your charge

can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually

exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they

turn 18 because of the assumption

that college will help them become

financially independent.
When you die,

you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary

scheme is that you actually enjoy it and

wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance,

no pension, no tuition reimbursement,

no paid holidays and no stock options

are offered; job supplies limitless

opportunities for personal growth

and free hugs and kisses for life

if you play your cards right.


Forward this on to all the PARENTS y ou kno w,

in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do.......


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Misty Wray