Just as I dared hope that my dreams yet had a chance of being realized in my life it has all fallen apart yet again. I am ready to die. I even know how I would do it. I found someone i fell in love with and everything was going real well, and yesterday I went for a job interview and got the job on the spot and they even started me yesterday. As I could not call her from work because she did not recognize my friend's cell phone number and would not answer, I had someone call from our home phone. She was told that I would call her today and that I loved her and missed her. She told my other friend who i live with (owner of the house) that she looked forward to talking to me. When I called today she told me that my friend was not who he said he was and that I was "playing her like a fool" and to never call her again. I tried calling again and her mom told me the same thing. I spent my entire life looking for my soulmate. I finally had her and now she is gone. All because I took this stupid job (which if i sold three vacuum cleaners a week i would be doing quite well, and actually since she also had financial issues we both would have done well). So I am seriously ready to take a trip to the drug store then the state store. Seriously. It just is not wotrth that. I mean, what could ever replace this? just some other woman? i am getting too old for this. I will be 38 soon. Never been married. DISGRACEFUL!!!! ESPECIALLY SINCE THIS WAS MY DREAM FROM CHILDHOOD. HOW F*CKING EMBARRASSING!!! But then who could ever love someone like me? It has never genuinely happened till now, and even this is now called in to question. Who cares about money and the rest of it if your life is not even work the birth crtificate it came with?
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