My nerves are shot. I feel like I have been beaten to death with a baseball bat. If I could I would love, more than anything, to just cut someone's throat. Then just stab them over and over until they die. As long as it's one of four certain people. Sometimes I get so tore up, I just walk back and forth through the room with my fists clenched, wishing that raming my fist through a wall wouldn't break my hand. As soon as I rationally deal with one problem, someone comes along and causes another. It's a never ending process. I'm prbably going to die before I am 35 because of the crap people put me through, causes me to worry myself sick. And thats what they want. When someone does these things to you, thats what they want to happen to you. Somehow, by giving me a nervous breakdown, it lifts them up.
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I've had a few accounts over the years. I would be having lots of nice connections and feel like its all working and then something would trigger some episode of crazy depresssion and id just stop everything. feel like im doing ok now and just needed to com back to ds. i missed you guys. you spirit and your strength helped me through some very rough times. i just want to let all of you know the...
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