and i became slightly more enlightened about what went on.. i think she got obsessed with the idea that i wanted to stay here and didnt want to move to ohio.. and the fact i wanted kids of my own.. i did say those things.. but i didnt mean it entirely i was confused about what i wanted to do.. and we waited so long to talk about it it got so far and deep in her mind she just left cause she felt it was her best option .. to be with her family and start living a lil bit better with more money she could make there.. its all about sidney... i told her i just had to give up trying to get her back.. some depressing shit.. i wont give up on her or sidney... even if they do move.. i want to go with them.. maybe after she moves and stays up there for a while i can convince her how much i want to go up there with her and be with them.. or maybe she will just decide to be friends.. still ... this shit hurts.. i wish i could get through to her but i dont know how so i have to just let things be for now
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