I'm 32 and have nothing to show for my life. I'm depressed everyday and have gone through numerous medications. I feel there's no end for this in sight. my doctor tells me I'm depressed. you think! I have mental illness in my family, my mom, grandmother, aunts, but no one can remeber what they were diagnosed with. I have fear, aniexty, depression, suicidial thoughts all the time. On very rare occassion I'm extremly happy, for a short period, I can snap at the drop of a dime, into rage. I'm obcessive compulsive, checking doors, line up cigarettes perfectly in ashtrays, even numbers, etc. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I spend money on stupid stuff. and have no idea what is wrong with me. I need help and answers and no one can do this for me. I have no sex drive none. I'm trully a lost soul. I feel worthless all the time and all I want is to find the old me again the person I was 15 years ago. I also hate going places in fear of seeing people i used to know, I hate crowds, and become enraged if strangers stand to close to me, I never react to this and keep it to myself. I was an abused child and used to cut myself when i was younger. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. What can i tell my doc to check into. I can't continue to live like this. It affects my kids, my husband and my job.
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