today i realized another reason i'm so fucked up is because my entire family yells at me and puts so much pressure on me to go to college next year. i'm not ready to go to college quite yet and since i already took one year off they think i am doing nothing in my life. every time they talk to me the look like they are so disappointed in me. i cant take it anymore. when i am ready i will go. they need to stop putting so much pressure on me. today was not such a good day...all i heard was that my cousin hated me. thats all she would say...so i came home and cut. i couldn't help it. i'm sorry.
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