About two years ago I lost everything I had given myself to...the church I grew up with became too enthralled in rules and regulations in so much that permission from the minister was required to fellowship with my friend...soon I was discouraged and I slowly became isolated from everyone I knew. At one time I had dreamt of becoming a missionary but lost faith not only in God but in myself...then I lost a husband of almost 11 years to adultery and my world has never been the same...I no longer have the will to keep on going and I am merely existing...I feel numb to eveything and everyone...I think almost daily what death might mean to me and have many thoughts about ending my life...I tell myself that what I've gone through is nothing compared to others and I feel ashamed of what I've become...but I feel I'm losing in the midst of my chaos and that it's no use to call out for help...but I'm pleading, for the sake of others, for help...would someone care to reach out to me when I have no answers and only questions plague my mind?
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I decided to make a change to the vegan lifestyle about 5 years ago. I have not had any improvements in my health as I am an unhealthy vegan. It is so challenging for me to eat healthy vegan food because most people around me eat animal based food. It’s so hard to be healthy when there is junk everywhere, even in my own home.