me and my boyfriend of 2 years have just broken up. I dont know how i feel about it. part of me wants to scream and cry but another part of me is somewhat relieved. i've been living a lie. i dont think he ever loved me. All through my depression he's not given me an ounce of support coz he was far too focussed on him. thats all he knows is himself. he doesnt care for anyone else, not even his own family. He resented the fact that i would ask for help or support, askig me 'why should i have to put my life on hold to help you?' I've spent the last year trying to convince myself that he loved me, but im pretty sure he didnt. if he did, he certainly didnt act like it. i know it sounds like i should be really relieved but part of me is devastated. I dont know if im upset because he's gone or scared of being alone.
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Feeling pretty bad today. I'm exhausted in every way. Tired of living this life where nothing changes or gets better despite how much I try. Had a bad life all my life and I'm just tired of being here.