Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hi,
Sorry to be venting out again about my very messed up personal life which I thought was getting better but isn't.
On Thursday I had a bad scene at one of my jobs and ended up violently quitting after a screaming match over the phone. This led to all sorts of nasty emails sent through our departments user group, many of which contained lies and a view exaggerated facts such as how often I have been sick this past year. I have been besides myself in a temper and responded to a lot of them, basically utilizing my very British sarcsim and a lot of truths to his lies. Its been a bad couple of days.
Yesterday as I was driving into my other job my ex girlfriend called me up and said "well he has left me for you and says he hates me and has no feeling for his kids. I hope you are very happy". I was a bit dumb struck for a moment and then said something along the lines of "what are you talking about?". Well it turns out that they had had a fight because he had had to go out for a couple of hours to look at new buildings for the co-op school thier oldest attends and she was mad because it left her at home with both kids and she said she can't cope.
A little back ground. He works outside of the home 3 afternoons per week on adverage. He travels for work about 5 times a year and the rest of the time he is home. The most she ever has both kids alone is for about 4 hours per day those 3 days he works. (on adverage)
They had had a fight she had physically attempted to stop him from leaving and when he left anyway to go to the mall for dinner and to decompress she had decided he had left for good.
If was aweful and I got really stressed out with all the phone calls from both of them on top of actually being at work and the messed up stuff I was dealing with from my other job.
Today I am having really aweful nervous tummy issues at work. I am now up to 3 imodiem. I am a wreak again and I had been doing so well. I haven't used Xanax for about 4 months.
I want to tell my lover that I can't deal with "us" until he and my exgirl friend get back on an even keel but I have tried this before and it didn't go down well. I feel totally manipulated by her yet again and I don't like it.
Sorry to be venting out again about my very messed up personal life which I thought was getting better but isn't.
On Thursday I had a bad scene at one of my jobs and ended up violently quitting after a screaming match over the phone. This led to all sorts of nasty emails sent through our departments user group, many of which contained lies and a view exaggerated facts such as how often I have been sick this past year. I have been besides myself in a temper and responded to a lot of them, basically utilizing my very British sarcsim and a lot of truths to his lies. Its been a bad couple of days.
Yesterday as I was driving into my other job my ex girlfriend called me up and said "well he has left me for you and says he hates me and has no feeling for his kids. I hope you are very happy". I was a bit dumb struck for a moment and then said something along the lines of "what are you talking about?". Well it turns out that they had had a fight because he had had to go out for a couple of hours to look at new buildings for the co-op school thier oldest attends and she was mad because it left her at home with both kids and she said she can't cope.
A little back ground. He works outside of the home 3 afternoons per week on adverage. He travels for work about 5 times a year and the rest of the time he is home. The most she ever has both kids alone is for about 4 hours per day those 3 days he works. (on adverage)
They had had a fight she had physically attempted to stop him from leaving and when he left anyway to go to the mall for dinner and to decompress she had decided he had left for good.
If was aweful and I got really stressed out with all the phone calls from both of them on top of actually being at work and the messed up stuff I was dealing with from my other job.
Today I am having really aweful nervous tummy issues at work. I am now up to 3 imodiem. I am a wreak again and I had been doing so well. I haven't used Xanax for about 4 months.
I want to tell my lover that I can't deal with "us" until he and my exgirl friend get back on an even keel but I have tried this before and it didn't go down well. I feel totally manipulated by her yet again and I don't like it.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I know it was a long post but I am feeling awful tonight and it's hard work putting on the "happy face" on the outside.
We were a triad. We are polyamarous. This isn't a situation where I was having an affair with him, We were all sexual with each other and were meant to be family.
The relationship broke down.. well exploded actually when I signed a divorce agreement with my ex husband giving him everything and my male partner threw me out as he felt I was disloyal. Well I had been married to my ex for 12 years (open marriage) and I didn't feel the need to screw him over just because we couldn't live together any more.
Of course soon after my male lover wanted me back bla bla bla but I refuse to move back in as it feels very unsafe. I was properly homeless as a teenager and to be made homeless again really messed with my mind.
So as it stands right now I only see him and occasionally the oldest. I am open to seeing her but the new baby is too small to be left and I refuse to meet him just yet. I had been inducing lactation for him and got sick when I stopped the protocol the wrong way and ended up hosptalized. Losing the oldest from my life was so increadably painful that it is only just easing so I will not open again to another child.
I hope that explains the situation better.