I'm trying so hard to be strong, but the last few weeks have been horrid. There are so many things going wrong and although I have somehow found the strength to resist cutting these last 37 days, I'm feeling completely defeated. I hate how alone I feel. I dont know what else I can do to help myself and I'm afraid that I'm taking my boyfriend down with me as I'm falling apart. He is the only force keeping me alive but I can't help but feel like he would be better off without me. I wish I didn't feel this way. I'm afraid that I wont be able to do this much longer and the worst part of it is the only reason I haven't given up is because I know it would kill him. I would rather live in this horrible pain than do that to him. I know I need help, but I'm afraid it may be too late. I dont know what to do.
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