Today sucks...I keep writing in my damn journal just wishing someone would reach out to me...I know I'm saying words everyone else says...I'm tired of being alone... tired of struggling tired of being broke... I'm afraid of losing my job.. I can't get out of bed... can't find a relaiable sitter... can't find a friend to talk to...I'm a burden to me friends and cause them stress. Shit I used to be a positive happy person....SHIT.. I can't stop crying..things seemed to be going somewhere good... and then I fuck it all up AGAIN. SHIT
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...