I've dealt with a lot of issues from my childhood and I thought I was getting better, but I came to a point where I'd done all I could do on my own and I seem to have crashed. I don't know what to do short of starting over and I don't have the strength to do that anymore. I have never seen a counsilor, but now have an appointment with a therapist who will be seeing me for depression. I know I am depressed. There is nothing that I care about anymore. I hate everything about my life and I've been considering suicide. This has happened before, but it's a much stronger feeling now than ever. I'm not sure I've ever been happy. My marriage is suffering, along with my job. I've shut out everyone I care about, and everyone who cares about me. Even my little dog, who adores me. I feel like a very hateful person, and I am. I'm full of so much hatred that I can't contain any other feelings and I just want to die. I need the help I'm going to be getting, but I'm scared. I also have shyness issues and I'm not sure how easy it will be to tell my therapist anything I need to tell her, and I definitely don't want to break down crying in front of a stranger on the first day. Can you let me know what to expect on my first day, and possibly throw me some tips about how to handle this?
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