I have never been treated so coldly on this site as I have this evening and as a result I am leaving this site. I was trilled when I found this place. I thought how great, a place with people who had been through what I had been through, a place where we could share or strenths and our weaknesses. I finally felt that I was starting to get known to a few people. Last night there was alot of buzz about a certain young lady that many, many people where very concerned about. All sending hugs and trying to get her to talk. Well, I spent 2 to 3 hours talking with her today. I felt great. I felt that I was finally able to give back for all the times that I cried and whined and folks where there to support me. I made plans to contact with her again to talk with her again tomorrow. After the high of talking with her, however, I ran into a tight spot with my own shit and the anniversary of my ex leaving me. The response was low key and then I got a very "logical" pull yourself by your boot straps kinda response. This on a night when people are talking about pimples on there noses, or pizza and a thousand things. I was in so much pain. I've taken a bunch of pills in an effort to calm down and yes, I have my gun our next to my pillow. I'm not trying to grandstand. But while everyone is moaning about someone on the site who just committed suicide I got 16 luke warm responses. So I conclude that I'm not popular enough to be cared for. I never have fit in anywhere and I should have know better than to expect the same here but I did. I am so hurt by the lack of caring and response that I am leaving this site. It seems that many others have left recently. D0esn't that make you think. I needed you people tonight. I NEEDED YOU TONIGHT. I'M DYING HERE. But know, it's more fun to talk about pizza and pimples...sorry to have rained on the parade. I will come back to talk to the young woman that I spent so much time with because I promised her I would but that's it. Not that I'll be missed. I was such a FOOL. It's just like grade school again. And I'm not one of the insiders. What a shame...How many other people have you run away by ignoring them, shaming them for feeling less than....I'm so hurt, so angry that I can't see straight. So from someone who won't be missed... goodnight and goodbye.
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