Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I was asked by a few members to post to let everyone know how I'm doing.
In short, I'm doing ok. My stbx and I are getting along fairly well and we speak a few times a week. She's genuinely remorseful for what she did to me, which is why I've forgiven her and we both are remaining as close friends. In fact, yesterday, I actually had to tell her to stop beating herself up over what she did to me--I forgave her and I want her to accept that; I do not at all regret the things I did for her. It made her feel a little better. Her and I will probably never get back together, but I hope her and I can continue to make something good of what happened. It's going to take a long time for both of us to heal, but at least we're trying.
There is a woman that I'm currently "speaking" to who's a good ear and I'm a bit interested in. But, she does have a lot of things against her (I don't want to go into details here, but I'd bet everyone here would recommend against getting close to her). But, she's nice and she's trying to help. I don't know if it will go anywhere (I'm betting not), but she is helping a lot.
Other than that, I'm just trying to get my life back on track and that's that. I'm definitely one of those people who needs to be in some sort of relationship (simply because I have so few friends to spend time with--I feel like a hermit, honestly). So, I'm actively looking, of course. It's funny because one of my clients is currently doing the online dating thing, and comparing notes is interesting; except, he's 5'10" and lives in the gym, so naturally, his experiences with online dating are quite a bit different than mine (he's on match.com and he has had over 100 women try to talk to him in the last month or so, while I've had 0). I don't think dating of any kind will ever work for me...
In short, I'm doing ok. My stbx and I are getting along fairly well and we speak a few times a week. She's genuinely remorseful for what she did to me, which is why I've forgiven her and we both are remaining as close friends. In fact, yesterday, I actually had to tell her to stop beating herself up over what she did to me--I forgave her and I want her to accept that; I do not at all regret the things I did for her. It made her feel a little better. Her and I will probably never get back together, but I hope her and I can continue to make something good of what happened. It's going to take a long time for both of us to heal, but at least we're trying.
There is a woman that I'm currently "speaking" to who's a good ear and I'm a bit interested in. But, she does have a lot of things against her (I don't want to go into details here, but I'd bet everyone here would recommend against getting close to her). But, she's nice and she's trying to help. I don't know if it will go anywhere (I'm betting not), but she is helping a lot.
Other than that, I'm just trying to get my life back on track and that's that. I'm definitely one of those people who needs to be in some sort of relationship (simply because I have so few friends to spend time with--I feel like a hermit, honestly). So, I'm actively looking, of course. It's funny because one of my clients is currently doing the online dating thing, and comparing notes is interesting; except, he's 5'10" and lives in the gym, so naturally, his experiences with online dating are quite a bit different than mine (he's on match.com and he has had over 100 women try to talk to him in the last month or so, while I've had 0). I don't think dating of any kind will ever work for me...
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
BTW what does stbx stand for?I see it a lot but don't understand xx
If you keep on that same track, you will be able to have a great relationship with someone...and the ironic thing is, what sounds to me like you need to address before you get into another one, is your "need to be in a relationship". That suggests dependency issues, and that will get in the way of you ever finding the fullest and most satisfying relationship possible.
IF you are having doubts about your current potential relationship, you are probably right. Two suggestions to offer you:
1) Just keep it freinds for now.
2) Resolve your issues with your X first. Otherwise, you are very likely to carry over any unresolved issues between you into any other relationship. One suggestion I've heard more than once, that sounds like a very good one to me is, that whenever you get a divorce, breakup, or whatever, you should wait for the same number of months you've been together/married, as the number of years you were together. For example, if you were married 12 years, you should wait a year before you start another relationship.
Easier said than done, I know. But it will pay off in the long run if you work your bugs out first.
I was legally married for 11 years, and it's been over 16 years now since I was divorced, and I know I am still not ready for another relationship yet. Take your time.