
Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

deleted_user
My whole life, as young as I can remember I have felt this way.
Each day I am getting worse, I don't leave my house anymore.I'm scared of people.I'm scared to see a doctor, I can't talk to them anymore.
In the past I have received treatment which worked ( for anorexia), but as the years have gone past my depression has gotten worse than ever.I was the happiest ever in my life when I was anorexic.
I don't know what to do anymore, I can't help myself and I can't let anyone else help me.I just want to disappear.
Each day I am getting worse, I don't leave my house anymore.I'm scared of people.I'm scared to see a doctor, I can't talk to them anymore.
In the past I have received treatment which worked ( for anorexia), but as the years have gone past my depression has gotten worse than ever.I was the happiest ever in my life when I was anorexic.
I don't know what to do anymore, I can't help myself and I can't let anyone else help me.I just want to disappear.
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Please let me know you'll try and get yourself some help. Thanks
there are times when i feel so overwhelmed by the shit i imagine taking a knife and plunging it into my leg over and over.
right now - i'm in the middle of a major life crisis: May i got laid off from a well-paying job so now i'm working for half what i used to make, selling my house because i can't afford it, divorcing my wife because i'm having sexual identity issues, and losing my dog because he decided he liked my wife better.
so yeah - i get the idea of disappearing. or finding a way to hurt myself, as some kind of punishment for the mess i've made of all this.
but i don't. and i'm pretty sure i won't.
because i have a 14-year-old son who needs me, at least every other weekend. i have parents and a brother who need me. who care for me. who want me around.
there's no magic cure for what we have. no easy answer. it's a daily grind to stay ahead of the darkness, and sometimes you can feel like you're slugging uphill through knee-high mud.
but you have to go on.
now matter how hard it is.
i have this dream periodically where i'm trying to walk forward but it becomes so hard i can't. i can't move forward. finally, the only way i can move forward is to turn around and walk backwards.
start focusing on a simple pleasure - start focusing on your children (i believe you said you had kids, right?).
think of one thing about each one that makes you smile.
one smile for each child.
then start over.
another smile for each child.
bet you can easily get to 10 smiles per child.
now loop those moments - replay them over and over in your head.
lie back, close your eyes, and just let the smiles play out in your mind.
we're not helpless. we can do small things to fight back.
fight back.
you have reasons to.
so do it.
There are also hotlines and online counseling that might be helpful for you.
I'd never realized that someone with anorexia might be trying to disappear.
My prayers are with you try to hang in there and talk to us.
My kids deserve better than me, I should'nt have had kids I certainly do not deserve them.
The main reason I want to get better, I just want the everyday little things to be easier for me , not necessarily be happy.
I just want to function, I just want to feel alive.
Just wanting things to be easier is a good goal to work towards. You might find that you're happier too.
Also, remember that there is a difference between 'I can't' and 'I won't'. Once you can see that you'll find more strength for doing things that will help you.
I did go a few months back wanting to be put on meds a they do help me a little, but I am breastfeeding my little girl still( she just turned 1)and he recommended not to go on them.
So I don't know what to do, I want to continue feeding her because she only likes feeding this way, but I also want the meds.
And I don"t want them if they can harm her, because she is more important to me than anything. And I will feel so guilty that I am putting myself before her.