I don't have any reason to live. I don't have family or friends. I went to the free clinic the other day and burst into tears because of just hearing all of the voices and people laughing etc. It was just overwhelming. I feel so lucky to have gotten my disability but I also feel like I have now been put away in a file drawer and left to dry up and go away. I don't have anyone who will take care of me when I'm old, or if I get sick. If I fall and get hurt no one will miss me. I didn't see or talk to another human being on Xmas day..not even my own full blooded brother bothered to even call much less invite me to stay. I have a small dog that I'm going to have to give away because it's not fair to keep him when I don't feel like going outside to play with him. I sit and watch tv all day. I don't clean up the house, I don't cook, I don't eat...I just exist. I quess my question is: does it make sense for the qovernment to continue to support me financially when I am such a lost cause. Wouldn't physican assisted suicide like in Holland for those of us who are severely depressed and don't respond to meds etc. I've tried OD's and done nothing but fire too many brain cells, but I can't and won't live like this. I'd gladly give the rest of my time to someone else who wants or deserves it. I'm dead on the inside now I want to be really dead...
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