Here it is: I am actually posting on here again. I am at a complete loss. I do not know what to do anymore. My friends are leaving both here and home. I know on here it was not my fault but it still bothers me. At home, it probably is my fault because I have been isolating a lot and been pretty paranoid. It has gotten to me that my former friend I have a restraining order on is wanting to see me and there have been other things said that I do not want to say on here. I am worried and everyone here is sick of me and says that I don't have to worry because I have the restraining order. I am still worried and I am a mess over it. I have not slept because I am worried about that and I keep having nightmares about the rape. I feel like I am just about to go over the edge since I have no one to talk to and lost hope. I have hit the point where I don't know what to do at all besides give up. Everything hurts too much.
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