I used to be the same way. Didn't know how to function without someone else in my life. It was only when I began to enjoy time to myself and appreciate having that time did I begin to grow. Being abused is extremely tough on the old self esteem! It takes time as does everything. Don't rush it. You will find that having time to get to know yourself can be a great thing! Watch a good movie, read a book, get rid of clutter, call an old friend - lots to do! You will find that your confidence will soar and the needyness will go away! Don't ever depend on anyone else for your happiness. You can do it!!!!

I think joining this community is a really good step in that direction. It has helped me get outside of myself. When I need support, I receive it here. Likewise, I'm able to be supportive of others.

Just stay tuned in to this community...lots of nice and supportive people. I wonder if volunteering at a nursing home or something like that would help make you feel "needed" instead of "needy"............just a thought.

Fill that gap of needing with friends and support. I personally have filled it with a FAMILY of friends in martial arts. However, it's not the karate school right down the street that forces you into a contract for three years and pushes you out the door as soon as class is over.

We spend weekends together, go to tournaments together, laugh together.. and most recently are moving the karate school together. We laugh and cry - go through divorces together, and talk about one another's children as well. We help raise one another's kids and are there in and out of it all. The martial arts training is there to build our confidence and our self esteem.

It's just a thought. It's a HUGE part of my life. In fact, I'm heading there now. Look it up (isshinryu karate). Sent me a message if you life.

sunshine

There is nothing unhealthy about longing for companionship and love. How very very normal!!!!! But, when we don't have that we have to love ourselves--I am guessing that that is the issue you are grappling with right now. That is such a hard question because there are so many different answers to it: affirmations, doing nice things for yourself, doing things with friends and if you don't have friends asking someone to do something with you etc. etc. I think loving oneself is really about being comfortable with oneself. It will take time to get used to being alone. Be patient with yourself. It is ok to struggle with this for awhile.

Is there a hobby that you really enjoy that you could dedicate some of your time to? That is a great way to meet people as well. When I was feeling very lonely after my father's death, I got very into my horses. I spent a lot of my time caring for them, and joined a team so that I could compete. I made friends this way and it filled some of that lonely space, with people that had similar interests and a horse that I loved to death.

Start conditioning your mind to think of all the good,decent, kind, strong things about yourself. Think about them every day until it comes naturally. You have the power to make yourself stroner. Believe it or not it is already inside of you just waiting to come out. The problem is too many people have been trying to be the pilot of your plane and they don't have the flight plan! Look inside. There's real beauty there. andI'm not talking about your looks. Don't expect others to pat you on the back either, you should do it. You are your own best friend and worst enemy. Embrace yourself!

I want to say I can relate to you because I have PTSD and I can also relate to you longing for someone in your life because i too feel that way but I would to say that you have to learn to appreicate who you are first before you can find what you need in some one else

This is a big problem area for me, too. It takes time and adjustment, replacing what you once got from one source, with something else (healthier and better, hopefully!!) from another source - YOU!!!
Try some new things...see what else you like. You might get suprised.