I'm just never gonna get better. I've tried just about everything, I seem ok or even getting better, and BOOM something else happens, a new crisis in my life, and I start to slip. And when I do I slip fast. I just can't take it anymore. I try to fight it and in the end I'm so weak that I can't keep up. What is wrong with me? After months of no self-injury, I blew it. I caved big time. I should know better by now, but ya know what, it seems to be the only thing that makes me feel better. It's like when I was purging every day, I felt so good afterwards, that release you get every time, just a little bit of the pain went away for those few moments. And almost nothing compares to that feeling for me, not meds, not going to therapy, not writing, nothing. Except my other self-harm of choice. I picked up a razor tonight. Just a little wound, but now I'm afraid I'll be hooked again, and I was doing so good too. If I could find some other way, a healthy way, to get that release from the pain and hurt and crap I'm feeling I'd take it.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...