Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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I feel so low. What can I do to get back on track

deleted_user
deleted_user
I have been going through a difficult time with family, my hubbys work decisions (Very Stressful). It seems like I am withdrawing again and not getting along with anyone. I am having a difficult time managing the house and the kids because of all the pain I am in. I was complaining to a friend and he told me that maybe I should have never had kids. He said it in a mean way. That really hurt. Our friendship is over now. That is too bad. I thought we were good friends. I still wish him well. Anyway now I am really down. I feel like a bad mother; like maybe he was right. I am tired and hurt. I am trying to stay away from the kids for a while. Maybe I am not the best mother in the world, but I take care of them when they are sick, and feed them, and love them. I just bitch sometimes because they are kind of lazy and wont help out much around the house, but if I felt better I could do more too. It is this pain is just so overwhelming and no one understands, and I cant be there for everyone all the time. I feel so low. What can I do to get back on track, and feel better and be a better mother?
deleted_user
deleted_user
i can relate to that pain....i've had people tell me that i should have had an abortion because i wasn't ready for children or they didn't think the situation was the best....peesha to them!

take baby steps...when i was at the lowest with my depression, i would volunteer at my kids school...thay way i was doing something for them and i felt better for giving back to the community...

but i think baby steps are the best....try not to overwhelm yourself with cleaning the whole house at once...do what you can...

i'm sorry you are going through so much.....don't let his words form you....obviously you love your children very much and care for them....i pray that your mother's heart will be blessed and affirmed...
deleted_user
deleted_user
You ARE a good mother, you love your children and this is the most important thing they need from you. A messy house really isn't what they're going to remember when they're older, but they'll always remember the love you have for them. Don't let your so-called friend's hurtful comment upset you, who are they to judge you? You ARE on track, you feed and care for your children. All mothers bitch about their kids making a mess in the house. Be thankfull for the things you have, try to concentrate on the positives and your mood will gradually lift. Big hugs, x
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can also relate to your pain..i'm going through something very simular and i'm feeling very inadequate, like i'm worthless, no good to anyone..I'm having a VERY hard time asking for help for im not the type to ask for help, i'm always the one to stretch myself really thin to make sure everyone else in my life is taken care of and then if there's anything left than i take care of myself, but i never have anything left for just me! I feel the same thing about my kids..I feel like there's so much more i could be doing but i'm not and i don't know what else i can do! I too feel very overwhelmed and don't know how to deal with it..I too am very tired, irritable, sensitive and don't know how to deal with it and in return i'm very scared
deleted_user
deleted_user
dont say your not a good mother and what your "friend" says is not worth a second thought.im sure all mothers bitch about there kids being lazy because most of the time they are dont put your self down though.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you all for your advice. I think it helped.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your post moved me. A consideration; there is a huge difference between a "good parent" and a "perfect parent." You love your children and provide for them. That is being a good parent. We're all human, and being human we all have our frailties. Don't expect yourself to be perfect. (((hugs))) to you, hope you are feeling better.
ZAZAS
ZAZAS
First, you have to get rid of all the negative talking people in your life. That was no friend, friends try to improve a situation, not make it worse.

Find a way to take time for yourself, do something nice for you. When we take care of ourselves, family responsibility becomes easier.

When we constantly give, give, give to the demands of motherhood, being a wife, in addition to perhaps working in the outside world, we soon empty out. Kind of like writing checks on a bank account without putting funds in there to cover them.

Make new friends, best advice a doctor ever gave me. I can pick and choose my friends. And, those without concern for my and my families welfare have to go. Family on the otherhand, you just have to learn to deal with more positively. You just can't pick and choose them.

By the way, when I say "you", I mean it in a collective sense, you is me, you, and everyone.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You aren't a bad mother. You are just human like the rest of us. And you were right for cutting off that friendship for a while, because people saying things like that make the situation worse. And who knows, you could get back in contact with this friend of yours, and when they (if they) ever hit the bottom themselves - you'll know where they were when you were feeling like crap, and say this to them.
Go to the doctors, talk to your family, tell people how you feel - if you are under too much pressure, you are allowed to feel the weight of it.... who says you can't feel like crap anyway?
I know you want to be there for your kids, but it sounds to me like you are already running the house whilst feeling down. so why not note to your kids that mummy is ''ill'' at the moment and she needs everyone to pull together?
If you let yourself heal properly, and let yourself be helped, this WILL pass.
I promise you that, because you wanted this enough by posting this.
good luck
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would argue that people who struggle with depression are of two minds -- there are the times that we enjoy being with others and then the times that we prefer to be alone. The desire to be alone makes all of these other things more difficult. I don't think it can be done in a balanced way either.

As to your friend's comment, he may have meant something other than how the comment felt for you.
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