i hate this feeling. i fell out with my best friend this past week. she is going through some problems of her own. but she wont tell me what they are. but she knows i am having just as hard a time as she is if not worse. cos i dont know what her problems are.she was going to marry her high school boyfriend on august 8th 08. thats what he wanted. but she sent me a text on friday saying that they had gotten married the day before and not to be upset with her about it. but i am upset with her, why couldnt she call me. we have been friends 38years.she was my maid of honor 6 years ago when i got married the second time. and she knows my marriage is falling apart. firstly i was very upset that she sent me a text to tell me, and the second thing is she told me on the day which would have been my wedding anniversary. she knows that i dont have alot of money, but she knew they were bringing the wedding forward, and i spent almost 100 on an outfit. it was something i could hardly afford.but i did it cos she is worth it. she knows that i was thinking about taking my own life the week before. that my depression was so bad i couldnt handle it. she was even saying to me come over to hers on a monday. but now she has changed her mind. so after several angry texts between us i told her i was wiping her mobile number off of my phone and i did. that was last friday. i had to cut her off. she was hurting me too much for me to cope with. and i hate that it came to that but i had to. i would sit here and cry and cry. and thats not good. especailly when all i do at home is argue with my husband. she knows what he is like, cos when i speak to her on the phone and he is there, he shouts out its all lies. but now i no longer speak to her. i will miss her. i already do. and since i moved back to the uk from the usa 2 years ago i have no friends. except her. so now i feel so lonely even when the room is full of people i still feel alone. i hate it. i dont know what to do
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