I'm sure they don't hate you. Maybe they just don't understand you. You have friends here and we don't hate you. HUGS!!

Right, my husband don't understan, calling me psyco, mocking at me or ignoring me. My ex-adviser hurts me, also because she does not understand. My friends stopped talking to me little by little,so they also do not understand ;-(. Ok may be they dont hate me but it does not make any differences.

Anna, I think you are way cool....

Thanks Lola, I think you are real cool ;-). I gues I just feeling bad, starting new depression loop.

anna, im not sure why your husband doesnt understand what your going through at least but none of us here hate you! And dont worry about the witch adviser...i think she hates her own situation in life and is trying to make you miserable too! Dont give her that power to drag you down!::::::hugss:::

I think when we are vulnerable emotionally, it seems to attract people who will dump on us. I have the same problem. All though it does not stop the pain, try to realize that when people do that, it is their weakness and problem, not yours. Maybe you could take your husband to a counselor to help him see how you feel. They are not bad people, really.

I've seen and responded to some of your discussion topics. I don't hate you dear! In fact I kinda like you! Sometimes I feel Like other people hate me too! I like to think they're all jealous! LOL

I have this fantasy of going around with you for a month and explaining Americanisms to you and subtleties etc. Learning the culture (and getting your depression under control) is really all you need and you will be on your way. I think you are feeling pressured to understand this culture before you reasonably could be expected to because of being in graduate school. I have been in graduate school. It is known to be one of the most stressful situations one can go through. Most of my classmates and I had a love hate relationship with it. It was very scary---and *I* understand this culture pretty darned well. So take it easy on yourself. You have taken on a hard act.

Thanks guys. I really appreciate your comments.I know that there are weaknesses of these people, as well as my emotional instability. I feel like everything is hurts though.

I too feel that people don't like me. I feel I have to prove myself. Its like I have to get them to like me if not I have failed. I know I need to look at their personality but I feel that if they don't like me then they hate me.

Belle, this is exactly the feeling- I feel that they think I am guilty - until proven innocent. It is extremely tiring feeling.

I read somewhere that you have to love yourself before others can truly love you. If that is true then I'm stuffed. I'm not sure I'll ever get to the point where I love myself.

"Hate" is a big word and I'm sure alot of it is in your head. When I was younger I used to feel that way but it wasn't them making me feel that way, like I thought it was me. Put yourself on a pedistal and treat yourself with respect and dignity. I will never mistreat myself and others the way that I did again. It's not worth it.

I understand where you are comming from. I too feel like my husband does not understand me most times. He doesn't mock me in anyway but, if I feel down and don't answer him in the right way or get upset about something he is not very understanding and takes it very personal, and acts distant from me as if he is punishing me. This especially hurts when I feel down and need to talk with him. I know people care but sometimes I feel as if everyone including him would be better off without me.

Lilmary, yep. Your last sentence is so much true for me. I often think, that everybody would be better without me.