Laynie..... you really do need help....and DS is here for you... but you need real professional help.

Somepeople are so stupid I just wanna slap them!!!!!!

YOU ARE NOT A WASTE OF TIME!!!!!

People who think that are selfish and selfcentered and don't care about other people at all!

YOU ARE NOT A WASTE OF TIME!!!!

I am adding you to my prayer journal that I keep. Please keep me informed of your daily doings...as much as you can anyway, I realise that not everyone is on teh computer 24/7.

I DO care about you. The cop is the one who needs to be committed for making a statement like that...

Your friends was never your friend if she is mad at you instead of concerned...and you need a different doctor if your labs came back without redflags...

Just keep coming back here...we care about you

You're not wasting our time. Many of us worried when you were out of contact. People here do care about you and hear you pain and want to help. Please don't do anything silly again.

Let me clarify...the other people who say that about you are the ones who are selfish...not you Laynie...I just reread my post and realised that it was a bit ambiguous...

I want to slap those stupid people...NOT YOU

Give 'em a slap for me, too, crystal. You ignore them, Laynie. Just worry about yourself and do whatever you need to to get yourself together.

we do care about you here and your not wasting my time or the the one that respond to you we care hugs

So, who are the few people you trust AND RESPECT. Really. Think long and hard. That is who's advice you should listen to, not some cop who it trying to be helpful in a world that you are not part of. Please message me. What did you od of, and why?

my advice, go someplace else for help. it is not a good place, the in between. you play the "im ok game" with the silly health professionals. Don't lie, tell them exactly what you think. let them in on you secret. see if they can handle it. try the help that they give you. give it your whole. if you try your hardest and still can't feel any better after a year, give it one more and then take it from there. i say this as one who has been in and out of hospitals and groups for a long while but never gave any of them a chance. now i am so fuck-up that i don't know which way to turn. please, do yourself a favor and get the help now with all your heart.

Capitan...I tried professional help...I got a therapist...he is a MORON, so I am not going back to him, that was my second therapist in 5 months because the one before him just kept telling me how I could and could not feel....I asked for medical through this clinic, which means psychiatry for meds, but the MORON did not put the order through. I went to the ER for my headache and then followed up with a Nurse Practitioner who referred me to a neurologist. I went to the Life Skills group to relearn all about the DBT stuff. I would like to know what professional help is left that I have not tried to get because if I am missing something please let me know!

Concerning my friend...she is a real friend...she has her own struggles...I think this was just too much for her and I miss her and regret hurting her so bad.
As far as the Dr's and labs yeah I dont know how things could have been normal but oh well.
I don't mean to lie to hospitals it just happens. Its like I get there and I panic and suddenly I go into this auto pilot routine of I am ok because I am terrified of being in hospitals. I know that sounds bizarre, but I don't know anything about the facilities here and I don't want to find out after the things that I have heard.
Its not a game for me, seriously its not I just don't know how to stop it from occurring and now that I have hurt and pissed off so many people I just want to end it all now to make it all go away. I caused this mess and I can't fix it any other way.

laynie,I care about you.Hospital and emergency service staff can be really unsympathetic,they were to me.I felt like they wished I was dead.Well done for graduating.Your friend is just angry s/he nearly lost you.Please talk to me next time hun,I feel like shite warmed up the last few days,I know what you are going through.Why does my forehead hurt and why did I wake up on floor?

HI
I know how you feel. I tried and failed a couple of weeks ago. You are not selfish you like me just want the pain to end. I am still struggling but now only am self harming. YOu are worth it - you just have to find the write help and dont stop screaming until you get it. I have had 5 different therapists and keep swapping until you find the one.
You are in my thoughts - you have low self esteem as I do to and I am told that it will get better.
Don't give up. Speak to your friend - she will in time forgive you - it is not you but the illness which makes you feel this way.
Good luck

So sad, you feel your wasting time. It is not about 'they' that time is being wasted. It is you who think you a waste of time. Alas, not such a waste if you come here, ya know? Ya know, you will not really know how much you are in hell until you get out of hell some and look back. Nope... no way you can.. even with me giving you the heads up on this... choose to do the work for you can one day 'look back'. Of course this is a step ahead of hoping because... you will be there one day just because you posted here... you will... and you will be glad that you went through what you have been and are going to get to the wonderful place you will be.... honest!

i dont know you but please geet some help for yourself. i read your profile and it says you have beautiful children. THEY NEED YOU!!!!!!! thats all i have to say. i will be praying that you get some help
elaine

Gosh, you have been through so much loss and pain. No wonder you feel so down. you are not wasting ANYONE'S time, especially here on DS. We all care about each other here, and are here to help. You have alot on your plate, so it is no small wonder that you feel overwhelmed. If you need someone to talk to I'm glad to be there for you. Take care.

Today...
I started my morning by filing a complaint against the dickhead cop.
Was on the phone with him when Clark county crisis services knocked on my door. Two ladies spent near an hour and a half talking to me. They are going to do everything they can to help me get the services I need and maybe even arrange childcare so I can go back to work part time.
I also called the mental health center and told them I want to switch therapist and they said they had no one. Said I could see an intern, yay someone I will have to give up in a few months. That was discouraging.
I had put in a few online job apps and without even an interview I had two offers on my phone today based soley on my resume. I left messages back with both of them.
I see the neurologist tomorrow and hopefully he can figure out this pain in my head. It is back today and sitting here is actually the first time in about 5 hours that I have survived sitting upright.
SO I am trying but even with all of htis why do I still feel so defeated and like none of it will help.
I need sleep...