I'm not really sure how to phrase this, so I apologize in advance!
My school counsellor says she thinks that I have depression and has told me to seek help from my parents, but my parents don't believe in mental sicknesses. The only time I've been to a therapist was when they wanted to 'get rid' of my social anxiety and general anxiety. I only went to a couple sessions before they stopped it saying that "you're not getting any better, they're just sucking money'.
I'm also quite afraid of bringing it up to my parents. They'll probably turn the conversation around and put the blame on me probably saying that there's something wrong with me and they've raised a failure.
(Now, this is probably going to make my parents sound real bad but they're not. They're just not as progressive as some other parents might be.)
My mom also likes to stress about our family's financial problems to me which gets her into a bad mood and leads to her calling me names and how she never should've had kids. She also makes snide comments about my weight which just makes my self confidence plummet. My dad isn't much better either. If I anger him the slightest bit he'll start berating me about how I'll never get anywhere in life and I should just give up on my dreams.
Because of all this, it's lead to me being very self critical and self conscious. I hate the way I walk, I hate the way I eat, I hate the way I present myself. The list just goes on. I have a constant feeling of worthlessness to the point where I don't care if I die or not. My grades are dropping as I type and the stack of unfinished homework and assignments keep piling higher and higher (there's my ADHD kicking in). I don't have the motivation to do anything. What's the point? I just sleep all day. I'm going to fail in the end anyways.
I know I should seek help. But my family is already in a tight spot and I don't want to add on to that. I don't know what to do.
Whew. Typing this out feels reallllyyyy good. Honestly you can just read this for your own entertainment and not reply lol. Anyways, have a nice day!
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