i feel like a f-ing worthless loser. im majorly over weight, to the point i have a bunch of probblems like my back, knees ext. so its hard for me to do anything like go for a walk or do things with my kids. then to top it i feel like i cant give my kids the things they want and need and i have the best kids ever. my oldest is always helping me out and my lil girl is so sweet and smart she always makes me happy and my last baby still is at that point were he makes lots of mess and stuff but hes my baby and i love him. and i am so poor i cant do shit and i never am able to eat cause i always have to make sure the kids have food. and what hurt me to day is my sweet lil 7 year old girl was trying to play out side but she is to big for one of her bikes and to little for the other. ( these are hand me down bikes) and bless her heart she was trying to ride her big brothers bike and its to big also. i felt so bad i want to go by her a new one but i dont have money to pay my bill, eat, ect.our bills are about500 dollars more than what we make a month. then with everthing i got going on right now i have been in my countys idol and i make it to the semi-finals and out of 20 semi-finalist only 10 made it on to the finals, well after all this hard work and practice i did not make it on buy my brother in law did and he is not even good. and i feel that be cause i did not sing country they did not pass me on. i get that everywere i go. and i am so fing tired of it. and just so you understand this alittle more i have been singing since i was in 5th gread. iv won many first place mettels at high school comp. with other schools, sang at kings island, won other contest when i was younger. i have this long back grownd. and to me music is the one thing iv always been good at and that i am passonat about. i am just so fing pissed. it just hurts so bad. i just feel completly worthless, like why am i even hear .all i ever do is hurt all the time. i just cant take much more of life i cant. im just nothing but stuped , and fat thats it. ( just to let you know im drunk big time so if this dose not make any since you know why)
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