in the entire world and i should stop thinking otherwise. i should stop thinking that i can have something good in my life. i should stop believing that stuff will work to my advantage. i should stop trying to reach far out of my element. i hate myself and everything about me and i should know that self-hatred will always fuck up anything i think is worthwhile. i am sorry to have tried. i am sorry to have failed. and no it is not better to have loved and lost, not by along shot. its better to love and be loved and that is all that is better. god kill me tonight cuz i dont want to go one living any longer cuz this hurts like fucking hell. i am very, very, sorry.
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