I just want to curl up into a ball a hide forever. Why was I even born? I try and try and try but I fail. I don't want to get out of bed. I know I will do something wrong. I always do something wrong. I haven't answered the phone in 2 days. I was barely able to make it downstairs to the lobby of the apartment to ask the maintenence*(spelling) guy if the cars had to be moved due to the storm. When I actually had to open my mouth to talk, I thought I was going to vomit. I don't want to leave my apartment. I want to stay home with my kitties and my turtle and my fish. I tried to call my pastor (the one person who seems to understand every aspect of my illness)but he isn't around for the week. How am I even going to make it to church on Sunday? Sleeping just seems to be the answer right now. I don't know what else to do but sleep.
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