please can i have some ideas from you all. or at least your opinion. my other mum, the lady i have told some of you about , ms pat. has come out of icu, but she isnt any better. i just spoke to a friend of ours who was visiting in her room. she said she is not the same as yesterday, but not worse. the doctors are talking about putting her into hopsice. in the usa being put in the hospice means you have less than about 6 months to live. they are saying they are only doing it for her personal care, cos the hospital cant handle it right now. they put a feeding tube in the other day and now they have restrained her because she keeps pulling it out, and all her ivs too. both times i have been able to talk to ms pat, by someone holding the phone to her ear, she recognises my voice. the other day she actually said yes to me when i said do you want me to come back there. then she started crying. now today i use did the same and she made a noise when i spoke to her, but thats about all the noises she makes. she knows our friend flora is there with her now. doing her hair, giving her head a massage. they amputated one of her toes about a month ago. then her heart started to fail , so they had to fit her with a pacemaker. and now her kidneys have totally failed. she isnt outputting any urine. the docs dont have an idea what is wrong with her. her body is just giving out. each organ goes a bit at a time. the only problem i have is that my passport isnt up to date. so i will have to get a new one of those to be able to go. and that means going to peterborough on the train or hubby has to take a day off work to get me to the airport. then my dad is telling me not to waste the money. hubby says go. he wont go with me. plus i will have to get my meds refilled before i go too. there is so much to think about. so if any of you were in my situation what would you do ? dont forget in live in the uk and ms pat lives in the usa. plus i would be able to see my daughter whilst i am there. and of course some of my friends. my hubby doesnt want to go. he is using the dog as an excuse. but we could find kennels for him. or a friend to take him for us. my dad says it will cost too much. the flight, hotel and car. well to be honest pat was so good to me i think she wants me there. for the first year she had all my mail transfered to her address. so she sent me bills each month. then she would put my cheques in the bank over there for me. sick pay and my ex's retirement pay too. so she has been a good friend to me. like a mother. as she is the same age as my mum. she was my rock for the longest time. she has been a true friend. so what do i do ? do i stay here and worry or do i go there and wait for her to die ? which could be months. i dont know what to do. hubby doesnt care what i do. he will be glad to see me go. peace and quiet for him for about two weeks. i wouldnt be able to go for more than that. so please give me some advice.
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