I am tired of everything. I am tired of feeling like I could fly off the handle at everything. I am tired of being pariniod over every little sound and bump in the night when it isnt even in the night. I am tired of being scared to go out alone and do new things as well. I am tired of feeling like I am about to cry cause I cant stop itching. I am tired of being so tired all the time that all I want to do is sleep and I am so tired of the pain that I dont know how much longer I can cope. I dont know what to do any more and I dont know if its even worth trying. I have no motivation, nor do I really care about keeping up my apartment cause it just seems like too much effort and pain just to eat lately, not to mention the tiredness that comes from doing the little things. I am tired of people telling me to be strong, cause thats all Ive done all my life is try and be strong and I am tired of being that way, its too much effort and there are no rewards. I am tired of being scared to go to the store alone cause I might spend too much money or people might run into me, causing my anxiety level to be even higher. I am tired of just doing everything and I just want to do nothing for a while but I also know that it will be too easy to just isolate myself. however not sure that is not a good thing to do since so called friends just end up getting pissed off at me for stuff they did to me. Ive come to the conclusion there must be something about me that makes people want to hurt me in the end.
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