I tried telling my mom that I wanted to die and she screamed at my that I was stupid and left the room. I don't understand how she could do that when my older sister tried to committ suicide a few years ago. I just wanted my mommy to hold me so bad at the moment and she pushed me away. You would have figured my sister trying to kill herself would have her trying too hard to connect with me. I feel so alone. Like I have no one left. I feel like I'm drowning with people standing all around watching but nobody will help pull me back. I hate my life and I want to die so it just all goes away. I'm tired of dealing with everything. I just want to crawl into my bed, go to sleep, and never wake up!
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