Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
hello all,
I'm pretty low tonight...been feeling ill (sour stomachy, headache, neck and shoulder pain, just feeling ick) but I'm not sure if it is due to the depression or if I'm really ill with a cold or flu...
I pretty much feel lately that life is one big humiliation after another...I go from one embarrassing or humiliating situation to another. Now, I am not working due to harrassment and stress at work (teaching) - I was systematically and weekly brought in for 'meetings', emails detailing everything I had done wrong, etc...
I am divorced, and am humiliated from many aspects of that as well. I miss the comforts of my past life...I miss my husband so much.
I am slowly stopping communication with friends and family...and am pretty reclusive. I told my psychologist (and later my family doctor) this and other details and she pretty much hit it on the nail, "You sound like a woman who is getting ready to kill herself". I ordinarily would have denied it, but I didn't. I agreed.
I am a woman who wants to die. I see life as one humiliation and failure and hurt and loss after another. I never felt passionate about life, I have always felt empty and alone in all of my relationships - rudderless and misunderstood. In my heart, I don't think I want to die = but I see no help on the horizon, no second chances, nothing.
I never thought I'd be the one slowly preparing to die, but I subconsciously and consciously am. I don't know why I'm posting this, as I am not planning anything now, but I am in so much pain and I don't know why. I see no worth in my existence, no hope, no purpose...and it's killing me.
I'm pretty low tonight...been feeling ill (sour stomachy, headache, neck and shoulder pain, just feeling ick) but I'm not sure if it is due to the depression or if I'm really ill with a cold or flu...
I pretty much feel lately that life is one big humiliation after another...I go from one embarrassing or humiliating situation to another. Now, I am not working due to harrassment and stress at work (teaching) - I was systematically and weekly brought in for 'meetings', emails detailing everything I had done wrong, etc...
I am divorced, and am humiliated from many aspects of that as well. I miss the comforts of my past life...I miss my husband so much.
I am slowly stopping communication with friends and family...and am pretty reclusive. I told my psychologist (and later my family doctor) this and other details and she pretty much hit it on the nail, "You sound like a woman who is getting ready to kill herself". I ordinarily would have denied it, but I didn't. I agreed.
I am a woman who wants to die. I see life as one humiliation and failure and hurt and loss after another. I never felt passionate about life, I have always felt empty and alone in all of my relationships - rudderless and misunderstood. In my heart, I don't think I want to die = but I see no help on the horizon, no second chances, nothing.
I never thought I'd be the one slowly preparing to die, but I subconsciously and consciously am. I don't know why I'm posting this, as I am not planning anything now, but I am in so much pain and I don't know why. I see no worth in my existence, no hope, no purpose...and it's killing me.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
you deserve better, you deserve to have that life you feel doesn't exist for you...
talk with your doc.. have they put you on meds?
No-one likes to have their faults pointed out but look at it this way.....if a fault is identified, you can learn from the mistake and change things to make it into a strength.
In the military we have a saying "take it as a learning curve" after all.....we actually learn more about a subject when we make mistakes even though it may suck to make them.
Yo could look at these things as a new beginning. A chance to start your life over, but with the knowledge we never had when we were young. A chance at a new job, a new relationship, a new path in life. You and I are in the SAME boat. It's part of the plan I believe.
I know how you feel, have been there before
did the doctor say anything to you about your medications or how you can bring yourself back to the real you?
I'm so glad you posted..
i know there is a reason for me to continue living, so there must be a future for me...you are on here, so you do want to live, use that as a reason and the rest of us as hope...
for those of us racked by depression in all its various forms staying strong and positive is harder than say if we were Oprah or someone like that.
but we can do it.
we have some control over the little voices that tell us we're worthless, or useless, or not worth the effort it would take to throw us out with the morning trash.
meds are a good start if you're not.
regular counseling is also a good idea.
finding ways to network - here for instance where you're dealing with people who are open to helping.
stay strong.
you are stronger than you think.
you ever hear those stories about the mother who was able to lift a car off her child?
you have that strength; you just haven't tapped into it yet.
I have felt so dead inside for so long...my first suicide attempt was at 12. I never felt I could talk to my family because ... they are so reactionary. I keep my anger in because I don't feel "right" or "safe" talking to others...except for my psychologist.
My sister has so many issues that she 'broadcasts' to the world (she lashes out, whereas I lash myself)...that there was never room for me.
I thought moving out with my bf (later husband) would solve it, getting away from my family...but I was miserable there too. Now I am alone, afraid, and I see no light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm scared of what I'm going to do to myself - not today, not tomorrow...not even next week...but I'm scared of when my reserves finally run out.
I have this fear of authority...come from my father of whom I was scared of. So I never stood up for myself in these emails and meetings...I always felt I deserved it.
Thankfully, I have been finally approved for payments from my insurance plan - for three months.
So now I feel the pinch to find new work and total fear that I'll have to return to my old position for more fear and humiliation.
Meanwhile, I watch the days go by through the windows of a jail cell of my own creation.