Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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How will I do it?

deleted_user
deleted_user
Ive been so caught up in the excitement of going home I didnt realise what I was doing.

I was in France for his death and held myself together for the brief time I went home for the cremation. My family have not seen me cry over this and I know going home to stay in his house where he will not be will push me over the edge.

I'll have to face the reality that he's dead with my family there to watch. I cant break down in front of them I wont!

Even the thought of it is making me feel sick and making me want to cry.

I know I should have posted this on the bereavement board but its dead over there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Whos dead hunny?
deleted_user
deleted_user
My father Died in March last year. The circumstances around it wasnt nice.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Awwwww ok :( Didnt know, sorry. Its hard losing a parent ( i lost both within 2 months of each other ) and I doubt anyone would expect you not to be upset about it. Hugs to you :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I slightly undestand what you mean. You know my reasons hun. Its hard but sometimes you hold your grief back a little. If you feel like you're going to break down in front of them and you dont want them to see then just get yourself out of there. Go to your room, the bathroom, for a walk. But if you dont want to deal with it on your own then talk to people about it... your sister maybe? It is going to be hard facing this hun, but you can do it and maybe its good that you have some family around you at the time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Its not that they wont expect it, its that I just cant let myself go around them. I never have been able to and if I do this time I will be mortified.
deleted_user
deleted_user
dunno maybe you need to cry with them, need to mourn. I know we say we like to be alone at our worst but we don't. It might help more than you realise x
deleted_user
deleted_user
In my family, crying is seen as a weakness. It was actually my Dad who made it so. Thanks to emotional abuse from both my parents Ive been shut off emotionally from my family for so long, I'm scared.
deleted_user
deleted_user
it could be the start of some healing with your family if you did though. that happened with some of my family when my dad died and he was like yours in that regard too. you never know.... either way if you can't do it with them....then get away for a walk or something. good luck hun! hugs!
deleted_user
deleted_user
i agree with bmoney...if you feel yourself starting to lose it, go for a walk or something. i'm so sorry you are going through this! *hug* are you going home for good, or just for a while?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just for Xmas, will be the first one without him.
I dont want to do it.
I dont want it to happen yet.
deleted_user
deleted_user
hun, the worst things you can do is hold it inside you, you need to get it out, perhaps phone a helplin that is confidential, and you can cry all you like to them and tlk to them and they will listen, if you need any numbers message me.

Things will be ok
deleted_user
deleted_user
oh hun! i know... it sucks. I am sorry! do you need to talk or cry?
deleted_user
deleted_user
im so sorry sleepy, i have never lost a parent but id just like you to know my thoughts are with you
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm here for you Sleepy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Im feeling now like I just dont want to go home.
Ive never dreaded xmas before.
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