I lost both my parents to cancer in 2007 and 2008. I got married soon after and then discovered my husband is a drug addict. He pawned my wedding ring for drugs, used unemployment checks we needed, would constantly lie, make up stories, he was always fighting but then said he couldnt live with me asking him questions. I kept finding things... reasons he lost a job... stole a laptop from them for drugs, finally at the end i got a legal seperation. the worst part is i still love him and keep wishing he would call and say im going to change lets get back together. He seems perfectly ok with the fact we are done. he is on a methadone treatment program now. I just miss him and my in-laws that i was close to. my brother is getting engaged and that adds to the pain. Im feel im losing him. the rest of my family is far away. everyday i wish the lord would take me. i dont want to be here anymore. i cant stand the depression. every morning i wake up with panic attacks and i dont see this life ever changing, Im just alone and scared.
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