I was dating a guy I had known as an aquaintance for three years before we started dating. He had lost his wife a few months before we started dating. The relationship moved way to fast to soon, but of course we were blind to the fact. Long in short, his emotional committment was not there and was causing me great distress. Instead taking a step back in the relationship we moved forward and through the pressure I put pressure on him to decide if he was in love with me. I new he couldn't be at this point in his life and he left me. I didn't want that result, I just wanted to understand him and he never talked... Now I cant stop blaming myself and crying and wishing i didn't have to wake up anymore. All I ever wanted to do was be there for him, and I had given him so much love and now feel used and useless, and self destructive as he said I sabatoged the relationship with hurtful words.. which I blame as a result of my confusion. I am 37, I want a family and kids and I am scared to start over, and I don't want to because I love him. I would rather just not wake up. How do you fight this self blame that I ruined the relationship and my future.
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