I am just finding it harder and harder to find positive things in my life these days. It seems like nothing I put effort into ever produces rewards or results, even in attempts to better myself. I'm so sick of getting shot down to nothing every time I divest energy into something. I feel like giving up. I just don't know where to turn now, there's nothing that's rewarding for me anymore, not even my music. I don't know if I can hang on much longer with all this happening to me. I just don't know what else I can do to make things better at this point, it all just seems worthless, or maybe I'm worthless. Who knows. I need help, but all my psychologists and psychiatrists could do is bark at me about smoking pot the entire time, and link every negative things in my life to smoking pot. I can't handle that, I pay them to preach to me about my drug problems when I have a serious problem. I give up.
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