i need advise big time. i have been divorced since 1999.we are both remarried. but for a long time now, well right from the start i knew i loved him still and he was my one true love.the other day we were emailing back and forth about our daughters schooling and who was going to pay what. and one comment he made really made me think. he said he didnt know why i had such bad feelings towards him. and i have now replied. saying i dont have any bad feelings, that i still love him, cos all last night i sat up thinking about what he had said. i dont know if i have the right thing. he is happily married. even if am not, i shouldnt have said that. or should i ? i was a rotten wife to him at times. but i think that has alot to do with my depression. yes i had an affair on him, but he said when i told him that we forget it all. and carry on. but i do still love him. our daughter is 21 now. and we had gotten married in 1985. so a long time ago. and i have been re married now for 6 years and he and his wife must have been together almost ten years. did i do the right thing in telling him how i feel ? i am so totally confused. is because my life is so shitty that i feel this way about him now ? but its not just now. its been like that for years and years now. and i know he is happily married. i am just sitting here crying my eyes out, i dont know what to do. am i telling him that i have always loved him cos my marriage now is shit ? i dont think so. i think i do truly still love him after all this time. i miss him. is this why my depression is harder to deal with ? or is it my trigger ? my husband now is a lazy bugger, and selfish. its sunday so he has gone fishing. he will always spend sundays fishing than spending time with me. he is so selfish. and he expects alot more from me. i told my ex that he had made me happy. and i would like to be able to talk to him about things from the past our lives when we were married. like when we had our daughter. our wedding day. now i am so sure that he will send me back an awful email telling me to shuff off. and that will hurt even more. but i think i did the right thing, didnt i ?
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