the last time i felt truely suicidal was when i was 14 or summat and i overdosesed alot, now ive learnt from that experience and i would never do that again coz i see what it done to my family and it was shitty, but more and more recently those feeling of actually thinking about it and actually thinking well if i drink this vodka and have that paracetomol would that work? and it is something that enters into my head but i know im not going to do, now i know there stuff that can could improove on like drink less and get out the house more often and stuff like that but i worry that im gonna give in sometimes and act on my pure selfishness and just go fuck it!
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