I have been through a lot in my life and it feels like things never get better. It feels like I am doomed for bad luck the rest of my life. I have finally found someone who loves and respects me, but we are so finanically unstable and living with my parents. It seems that yes I got the best person in the world that understands me, and then I get all the bad stuff too. It doesnt make sense. Sometimes I wish God would just take me out already. If nothing good is going to happen, why am I here? For what? To care about people who don't care? To watch people who steal, lie, cheat, etc get ahead while I am to worried about not stepping on people's toes. Why do I always feel like I am doomed. People say I should be happy because I have two parents, great family, great boyfriend, good friends. Why arent I happy? oh I forgot.. i am broke, constantly paying for things that seem to pop up anytime I have extra money, living at home at 21 almost 22, hate my job, failed the army, got screws and plate through my spine that causes me to be in pain all the time and not do things I use to do. oh yeah and the Army denying my claim and so I am working with arithutus in my back sititng in a chair for 8 hours a day.. Writing this I am thinking get over it, you arent on this world for a long time. Other people have more problems. But I don't know how to get over it. I dont know how to say.. oh well lifes crappy now, but I am going to go through this day with my head up high. I am more like what else is going to go wrong in my life. oh did I mention I am also bigger than I have ever been in my life and I am not dealing with it well at all.. sorry just freaking out i guess,.
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